There is a refrain from a song on one of my favorite albums that reminds me of how distances can increase over time. When I joined the Peace Corps in Micronesia, the physical distance certainly came easily. Somehow (miraculously it seems) I presently find myself almost two years down the road with roughly four more months to go. So now I’ve got some temporal distance, too. And yet there is another distance of my own personal making. There is the distance that occurs when I become busied with life around me or plainly forget to be intentional and do not reach out to connect with those who are supporting me. For the past half year or so, I have been stupendously negligent in most areas of friendships and relationships, especially with letters, emails, and updates. As a friend used to say, “if you wait till the last minute, it’ll only take a minute.” While this may have worked for me in the past (college papers, what?), it is not how I wish to approach the important relationships in my life. So rather than waiting, I’ll just get on with it, shall I?
The wizened volunteers before me told me “the second year goes fast,” just as before I joined the Peace Corps I was told “there will be challenges.” Both times, I thought I respected and heeded the advice, incorporating it into my present and preparing myself for what would come. “Sure it’ll be challenging,” I thought, “I like challenges.” Later I found myself thinking, “but I didn’t think it would be challenging this way, and no thank you I don’t care for this challenge.” Now I am thinking, “but I didn’t think this year would go so fast.” When Peace Corps tells you to be patient and flexible, they’re basically just saying, “oh, just you wait and see all the ways reality will budge into what you think you know or expect, no matter how self-aware or prepared you try to be.” The flexible part entails allowing your experience to be a crowbar in your life, prying open places where you never thought a space could be, or at other times dismantling whole mansions of evicted expectations with the tiniest tap.
And that’s what it all comes down to. It doesn’t matter what I’ve read or what I’ve been told. We are inherently self-ish creatures endowed with our own spatio-temporal spark of consciousness. There are certain things we need to experience for ourselves to get their full value. Yes, sparks can reach out to each other, as often happens through relationships and/or art. Yet it comes down to what your own spark experiences, spatio-temporally. And so I selfishly claim that this is my experience, attached to my spark.
There is something in the art of sharing experiences, which is why, when it comes down to it, I think we are touched by the deep relationships in our lives as well as the great arts of poetry, theatre, painting, comedy – because they somehow transcend our physical limitations to connect our sparks outside of our individual selves. I claim to be no great poet or painter, but I would like to strive in my nameless mediocrity to be the best sharer of my experiences I can be, hoping in my own way to connect with the treasured people in my life - friends, family, kindred spirits. I need this connection, just as my spark needs this experience.
When I joined the Peace Corps, I received a document called the Volunteer Assignment Description (VAD). Smack dab on the cover of the VAD were the official dates of my service: November 6, 2009 to November 6, 2011. “2011!” I thought, “the future!” I was 24 at the time and calculated ahead – I’d be 26 when (inshallah) I completed the Peace Corps. Now it IS 2011 and I AM 26. The future made present. Almost. And so now I find myself preparing for life after the finish line, for that unfathomed age of 27 and all the life beyond. Which includes…?
…Living in Jordan with my partner Andrew, Arabic codename Shookers, who is making his first blog appearance. The plan for the immediate future is to make a short visit to Jordan after PC before returning home for a couple of months for the holidays with Andrew and the families. And what will I be doing with the rest of my life?
Well, I am in the beginning stages of hatching a master plan for a Masters degree and beyond. I am exploring the idea of a Masters in Sustainable Development to prepare me to work with organizations such as the UNHCR, UNRWA, and/or UNDP Jordan, as well as smaller NGOs and non-profits in Jordan. The idea in my mind seems to be a flow of my passions for social justice and environmental sustainability within the global community. First service through Peace Corps, then learning through a Masters in Sustainable Development, and finally a culmination in a job, combining my skills, knowledge, and passion day to day in service to others and the environment.
Soon to come, month to month updates focusing on island life and what I've been working on. In the mean time, it's good to be back in touch and I would love to hear about what you've been working on and what adventures you've been having.
Whee!
emily
