Better Later than Too Soon...

As you can see from this post, I did not get on the plane on Monday. The plane, however, did leave with both Porter and Gita safely aboard. As for me, I simply was not ready.

But I want to go back. I wasn’t ready when the plane took off, but I was close. The startling change of schedule took the rug out from under me. It was a very hard decision not to get on that plane (the hardest I’ve ever made, actually). It could have been a cop out, an excuse not to go back to Woleai, in which case I should have felt relief. But instead of being relieved, it broke my heart to not get on the plane.

Which is why I asked for the chance to return to Woleai. And it never hurts to ask. I now have both the support of Regina, our fabulous friend and PA, and Kevin, the PC Country Director, to return to Woleai on the next ship. The next ship may be a month away (as is intended), or it may be more. It’s a gamble, but I have some cards to play.

My experience in Falalus has been extremely challenging, but like a runner nursing a sprain, I just need time to heal and regain my strength. In a way, Peace Corps Volunteers are like marathon runners. We’re in it for the long run and will face lots of struggles along the way. Whether it’s 26 miles or 26 months, if we don’t take the time to mend and regain our strength, our minor (and major) sprains will only lead to painful breaks that will bench us in the long run. In less than a week, I felt like I was on the mend and then suddenly told that the big race was moved to tomorrow. But I have started the race and I’ve worked hard for the miles I’ve logged. It’s exhausted me, bruised me, sprained me, but not broken me. I want to finish this race, which is why I am grateful for the chance to return to Woleai and the time now to prepare.

So now I am looking forward to my time here as a resource trip. I can use this ‘one stitch in time’ now to start working on a number projects that will enhance my work on Falalus. I plan on gathering the resources, contacts, and materials that I simply cannot while at site in Woleai. I'll be talking to the Dept. of Ed, the EPA, the Dept. of Health, and the Yap Women's Association, just to name a few. If you have any TESOL resources, send them my way. There is also a great need for a library on Woleai, so I will use my time in Yap to research and gather resources.

One of the best resources available to me here is contact with YOU - my family and friends. So I am elated to have the time to communicate with you over the next unknown expanse of time. I especially want to thank you for your infinite support that has given me strength and fed my heart. I most especially need to thank my friend Babs, whose providentially-timed email reminded me to listen to my deep heart and to always give myself options.

There is the expression that when God closes a door, He opens another (...or a window, or a box of Girl Scout cookies, based on who you ask). As for me, when the plane door closed on Monday, my heart was opened and glad to be at the center of my life.

Oh, and don't worry, my turtle-sitter's contract is open-ended :-)