5:23 PM Comment0 Comments

As you can see from this post, I did not get on the plane on Monday. The plane, however, did leave with both Porter and Gita safely aboard. As for me, I simply was not ready.

But I want to go back. I wasn’t ready when the plane took off, but I was close. The startling change of schedule took the rug out from under me. It was a very hard decision not to get on that plane (the hardest I’ve ever made, actually). It could have been a cop out, an excuse not to go back to Woleai, in which case I should have felt relief. But instead of being relieved, it broke my heart to not get on the plane.

Which is why I asked for the chance to return to Woleai. And it never hurts to ask. I now have both the support of Regina, our fabulous friend and PA, and Kevin, the PC Country Director, to return to Woleai on the next ship. The next ship may be a month away (as is intended), or it may be more. It’s a gamble, but I have some cards to play.

My experience in Falalus has been extremely challenging, but like a runner nursing a sprain, I just need time to heal and regain my strength. In a way, Peace Corps Volunteers are like marathon runners. We’re in it for the long run and will face lots of struggles along the way. Whether it’s 26 miles or 26 months, if we don’t take the time to mend and regain our strength, our minor (and major) sprains will only lead to painful breaks that will bench us in the long run. In less than a week, I felt like I was on the mend and then suddenly told that the big race was moved to tomorrow. But I have started the race and I’ve worked hard for the miles I’ve logged. It’s exhausted me, bruised me, sprained me, but not broken me. I want to finish this race, which is why I am grateful for the chance to return to Woleai and the time now to prepare.

So now I am looking forward to my time here as a resource trip. I can use this ‘one stitch in time’ now to start working on a number projects that will enhance my work on Falalus. I plan on gathering the resources, contacts, and materials that I simply cannot while at site in Woleai. I'll be talking to the Dept. of Ed, the EPA, the Dept. of Health, and the Yap Women's Association, just to name a few. If you have any TESOL resources, send them my way. There is also a great need for a library on Woleai, so I will use my time in Yap to research and gather resources.

One of the best resources available to me here is contact with YOU - my family and friends. So I am elated to have the time to communicate with you over the next unknown expanse of time. I especially want to thank you for your infinite support that has given me strength and fed my heart. I most especially need to thank my friend Babs, whose providentially-timed email reminded me to listen to my deep heart and to always give myself options.

There is the expression that when God closes a door, He opens another (...or a window, or a box of Girl Scout cookies, based on who you ask). As for me, when the plane door closed on Monday, my heart was opened and glad to be at the center of my life.

Oh, and don't worry, my turtle-sitter's contract is open-ended :-)

5:26 PM Comment1 Comments

There has been a sudden change of plans and I am leaving this Monday. Training has been bumped up due to the ship leaving today. No, I am not going on the ship...yet. In an unexpected turn of events, we Woleaians will catch a plan on Monday out to Fais (an outer island) where we will meet this ship and then head out to Woleai (over 2-3 days).

I'm not sure if I am ready to head back out, but my stuff is on the ship and training has commnenced. I am very bummed not to have more time to communicate with more people, but I am hoping to be a more intentional letter writer in my time on island. I should be in again around the end of May/June. So soon and so far away at the same time.

A HUGE thank you for all the support I've received while being here. I received TEN (!!!) packages from family and friends yesterday, just in time to open them, be in awe at how generous and wonderful you all are, and then pack them up to go on the ship. As far as future packages and mail, it all depends on when the ship goes out. I have received PLENTY to tie me over for some time, so please don't feel the need to go over board. Honestly, I'm stunned at your generosity. Thank you.

I'm still a bit shell shocked by the whole sudden change in plans, so forgive me in my reeling state if I am forgetting something major. But rest assured that I will think of you often and keep you in my heart over the next few months, in all its ebbs and flows.

Wish me peace and luck!
emily

12:27 PM Comment0 Comments




































PS - check out the new links to other PC blogs to see things from another perspective!

5:10 PM Comment2 Comments

This might be a strange quote with which to begin my post regarding my first stint as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Falalus, Woleai, but in many ways it speaks to the truth. When I think about where to possibly begin sharing my reality over the last few months, I am at a loss. My experience has been a mixed bag in so many ways – from good to challenging to downright hard – and it has all taken place in a context as far removed from anything I have ever known that it seems it can’t be real.

One place to begin is the setting which, to be frank, is as beautiful as any sort of tropical island fantasy you can imagine. The water is warm, clear, and multifaceted in its blues and greens. Now place against this setting Christmas and New Year’s celebrations. I have spent a couple of holidays away from my family in Colorado, which left me feeling removed (and thankfully included by a great community of friends in Maine), but being on Falalus this Christmas left me feeling like I was in an entirely separate universe. Where is the snow? The twinkly lights? Mountains and Christmas trees? And yet, to answer many of your questions, yes, we do celebrate Christmas in Falalus. The preparations and celebrations spanned multiple days, including a “midnight” service at 2 am. The most beautiful aspect of it all to me was the fact that no one was left out. – everyone gave and got. Starting on the 19th, the community came together at the church to distribute gifts to certain populations, the students, the youth, adults, etc, in a Secret Santa fashion. Most gifts were handmade, mostly food (I popped a few giant pots of popcorn and gave some to each family compound - there are 12 in all - as my gift). Even though my name wasn’t officially on Santa’s list, each gift-giving day I left with tons of generous gifts. And now here’s the part that I still can’t get over. Amongst the coconut crab, taro with coconut milk, rice, and other edible goodies, I got one of the best gifts I think I may ever receive for Christmas – a baby sea turtle.




Her name is Tiny and she lives in an old buoy outside my house (although I just bought a gloriously big plastic tub for her and I can’t wait to show Tiny her new digs!). Everyone in the community now likes to inquire after ‘laai woongi,’ my baby turtle, asking if she’s big yet (I always reply, 'teiti farigiti’, or not yet). She and I bonded right away. I take her to the beach to shower with me every day. After she darts around for exercise a bit, she’ll climb on my arm to rest. She especially loves to sit on my shoulder as we bob together on the waves. It’s just about the most surreal reality ever. On New Year’s Day, I got up to feed Tiny, but she was missing. We looked all around for her and wouldn’t you know it? When we looked up from searching and there was Tiny, just strolling down the road like she just needed to stretch her fins. Fortunately she’s taking to stretching her fast-growing fins in water. When I left Woleai, I asked all of my students to turtle sit for me and make sure that everything is alright while I’m gone.

New Year’s was quite an experience on island, let me tell you. It is the one time of the year when the shoabuuto, or women, are allowed to drink (whereas the mwaale (men) drink every night of everyday – it’s like clockwork). I can vouch that the women make up for their whole year of drinking in one go. We sat on mats by the beach as the men took turns donating faluuba (fermented coconut nectar) and yeast (just what it sounds like – yeast fermented for a few hours in warm water. Safe? Not quite). I joined them as they drank and sang songs at the top of their lungs from afternoon till evening. It was interesting seeing the women, who work so hard each day of their lives, getting to take a break and enjoy themselves thoroughly singing song after song from generations past together. As for me, I appreciated having the opportunity to share this experience while also watching the full moon rise over the lagoon.

I’m sure you’re all wondering (like everyone else here) if I went hog wild and got bulaase (drunk) with the rest of the women, but the honest answer is no, I did not. You see, around Christmas I began experiencing stomach troubles that plagued for about a very unpleasant month. The pattern seemed to be: Monday mornings, wake up at 5 am to go running on the beach (the only time I can go running is when it’s dark and everyone is asleep); Tuesdays, repeat; then, promptly become stricken with incessant diarrhea and be miserable until Friday, at which point I’d take an “immobility agent” that would stop me up over the weekend and make me feel like it’d be a good idea to go running again on Monday. Thus the cycle continued until I realized I shouldn’t bother running. Instead I self diagnosed and took the prescription amoebacide the PC provides to all outer island volunteers. After week four of this, I felt like I would never get better – I could have sworn I’d always be curled up as one pathetic, burpy ball. My guess is that I got a parasite or amoeba that took to living in my gut and let me tell you, it was not pleasant. I spent much of January curled up with no energy or appetite under my mosquito net trying with all my might to be okay with eating five-times reheated bulage (taro). Fortunately the drugs seem to have evicted whatever was squatting in my lower digestive system and I discovered BBQ for the bulage. Praise the lord and cross your fingers!




What with the digestive maladies, the emotional vulnerability that comes with a weak body, missing the holidays with my family, and general feelings of 'why on earth did I get myself into this?' I have to say I am very glad to be here on Yap for some respite and rejuvination. In no particular order, I'm delighting like nobody's business in my host family, the food, and being able to be in touch with friends and family. Here''s a reflection on leaving Falalus for the first time...



I've taken to doing Yoga and watching the sunset at 'the end of the island,' but shhhh, don't tell anyone on Falalus (they'd really get to talking about the strange things their PC does...). One evening I was watching the sunset and not actually expecting much out of it by way of few clouds in the sky. But soon I was surprised to discover that there was a whole layer of clouds between me and the moon that I didn't realize was there. The sun had spotted it before me and decided to paint what I couldn't even see with the shades of fire. I walked back from the beach thinking about the sunset - how sometimes you need something to change in order to see something that's there the whole time. That's how I felt coming into Yap. My experience living and teaching on Falalus has been quite challenging and even in my short two and a half months there (granted, it didn't feel short at the time), I've wondered about "what's there," so to speak. How can this experience transform like the sunset? I needed something to change - to leave and come to Yap for training - in order to see some layers of my experience that I didn't realize were there. When I left, the entire community haulted their daily activities to throw me an impromptu farewell shindig and make sure I was coming back. Let's just say the sunset was beautiful that night and I'm getting ready to return.



With all that I am, thank you for supporting me on this adventure. The main thing I have realized over the past few months is that this experience is an adventure of the heart and its challenges. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

3:07 PM Comment2 Comments

Hello friends! I am back in Yap after my first couple of months on Falalus, my new island home. I have many stories and other fun things to share about my experiences that will be forthcoming. Be on the lookout for new on Xmas/New Year's festivities and my pet sea turtle :-)!!

For the time being, I am simply writing to let you know that I am back in the realm of communication for the next few weeks (at least three-ish, if not longer). So now's the time to shoot me an email letting me know how you are and what's going on in your life. I'd love letters as well, time permitting. I am going to make several calls via Skype. Be on the lookout for an international call from your favorite topless islander :-P

The most urgent reason for this post, however, is an earnest request for care packages. Before I headed out, I was loaded with a bevy of booty that has served me wonderfully over the last few months (without which I may have lost all my sanity). As it turns out, the supplementary items from home gave me not only dietary support, but also spiritual and emotional support (literally, it's been soul food). So thank you, all of you.

The best way I can ask you to support me on this adventure is to keep sending care packages. I should be able to get whatever is sent in the next week or so before I head out. Plus, I will be able to receive them whenever a ship comes my way from Yap, which is around every 3-4 months. And the best way for you to send them is with USPS flate rate boxes. There is simply not much variety, nutrition, or frankly flavor in my local diet, so I can assure you that anything and everything will (and has been) appreciated. The easiest things are dehydrated or 'just add water' goodies and prepackaged foods. If a whole care package isn't feasible, letters from home feed my soul in just the same way. Here is a broad list of possible items from home that will make me jump for joy in my lavalava...but of course, please give as you like (I love seeing each of you in your different choices!):

  • Dehydrated fruits or veggies, preferably without sugar
  • Just Add H2O Creations (like Zatarran's, Rice-a-roni, soups, etc.)
  • Mac and cheese!!!
  • Instant mashed potatoes
  • Fantastic Foods brand goodies
  • Hummus mix (esp. Fantastic foods brand)
  • Snack bars (Kashi, Cliff, Lara, Nature's Path, etc.)
  • Fruit leather
  • Crackers, esp. Chedder Bunnies
  • Anything cheesy :-)
  • Pancake mixes, or mixes I can make dumplings with
  • Instant oatmeal
  • Corn meal
  • Small bags of flour
  • Agave nectar
  • Cereal (Kix, bran flakes, Lucky Charms, Peanut Butter Bumpers, anything really...I can eat it with homemade coconut milk!)
  • Bouillon
  • BBQ sauce (great on taro and dried ramen)
  • FLAVOR - seasoning packets, spices to add to dried beans, driend onions, garlic, etc.
  • Spirutein Packets (any yummy flavors) or other powdered healthy mixes to add to water
  • Tea (Good Earth, Chai, Constant Comment, Earl Grey, decaff is good)
  • Chocolate goodies and/or cookies
  • Candy
  • Tetra packed milk (shelf stable milk)
  • Snack mixes
  • Nuts
  • Surpise me

Non-food items include:

  • Books you think I might like
  • Fun yarn (despite the heat, people here love hats)
  • Fun pictures/posters/maps I can use in the classroom
  • Music you think might keep my spirits up (CDs work)
  • Any fun videos or movies you can get on a CD
  • Ideas for fun class activities/games
  • Whatever you want to send me!

This is a much bigger list than I thought it would be and please, do not feel obligated to follow it (or to send anything at all). There are lots of kinds of support, and I am thankful for your support in whatever form it comes.